(Alla Dreyvitser/The Washington Post) | Bold School Lesson 7: It's time to trash the myth of the grumpy old personBeing positive is a choice, and a good one. If you need proof, consider the Washington Nationals. Unless you are a diehard fan of the 2019 World Series champions like me, you may not realize that for the first two months of the season, we were one of the worst teams in baseball. "There is a tendency to start feeling a little sorry for yourself when you're . . . not winning," said right fielder Adam Eaton. Some were even calling for manager Dave Martinez to be fired. But then in May, Gerardo Parra, a castoff player from the San Francisco Giants, walked into the clubhouse and wondered: "Why's everyone so tight?" Whether he was signed for that reason or not, Parra — who rode a bright yellow scooter into the clubhouse, wore pink sunglasses and selected "Baby Shark" as his walk-up music — loosened things up. Soon after he arrived, usually-staid Nationals players were dancing after home runs, accepting group hugs and even performing silly hand gestures after getting on base. And, well, you know the rest. I can't prove that signing one happy guy caused the Nats to win the World Series, but a hefty body of research shows that positive outlooks cause positive outcomes. Optimistic patients take medication more reliably, exercise more and have less inflammation, stress, anxiety and depression. It's safe to say that if you're positive, you tend to live longer and are happier doing so. All well and good, but how do we act positive if we are naturally pessimistic? And for that matter, doesn't getting old often mean getting grumpy? Actually, no. "I started learning about longevity, and everything I heard was so much more positive than the common wisdom," writer Ashton Applewhite told our colleague Tara Bahrampour. Applewhite describes a U-curve for happiness: It declines in young adulthood and increases for people over 50. She attributes the stereotype of the cantankerous old man to our ageist society. The truth is, the older we get, the better perspective we have. Our "crystallized intelligence" enhances our ability to see what is really important. The experience we gain from more years lived makes us more optimistic, and happier, than our younger friends. Even so, some of us aren't naturally optimistic, and most of us have a hard time staying positive when we experience a setback. But we can work on that. Keeping a positive outlook in the face of adversity is a skill that takes practice, just like any other. According to writer and happiness researcher Shawn Achor, "Simple habits that take no longer than brushing your teeth can boost your mood, make you happier and, as a result, healthier, more productive and creative at work and closer to those you love at home." Some of these habits are as easy and effective as brushing your teeth as well: Practice gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal, pray or do kind things, such as emailing notes of praise or thanks, or letting someone go in front of you in traffic. Our colleague (and Bold School copy editor) Jim Webster jots down one positive thing a day, then posts the whole lot at month's end. Do the obvious stuff. Get enough sleep and exercise, breathe deeply, and smile regardless of how you feel. Focus on good news amid the bleak. Read uplifting selections from The Post's Inspired Life section, including this story about a therapist who teaches patients to retrain their brains. And check out our weekend good-news newsletter, The Optimist, or flip through our new series on climate change solutions. Practice self-compassion. Stop comparing yourself to others, and surround yourself with positive people. Pretend to be decades younger. Cliches about being only as old as you feel are starting to have scientific backing. So, back to the Nats: Parra left Washington and signed with a team in Japan, so we will need to stay positive on our own. I intend to get plenty of sleep during the long season, and to smile and breathe deeply if they lose a series or two. I choose to be boldly optimistic about our chances in the coming years (hey, we re-signed Stephen Strasburg) and I'm grateful for the time Anthony Rendon was on our team. I'm in the market for a pair of pink sunglasses. And maybe a yellow scooter. Your assignmentKeep a gratitude journal for the month and email a quick note of praise or thanks to someone new every morning this week. When something goes wrong, smile and pay attention to how that makes you feel. Tell usWhen did a positive outlook help you through a difficult situation? What habits keep you positive? Submit your response to be featured in Friday's newsletter here. Reading listHere's a new reason to be an optimist: You're likely to live longer, study says Many older adults feel positive about their health. Here's why. Life's stresses often sink me. Here's how I decided to change that. New thoughts about gratitude, charity and our brains The science behind why you shouldn't stop giving thanks after Thanksgiving Sign up for The Optimist newsletter for a selection of inspiring stories to help you disconnect and start the week off right Cliches about only being as old as you feel are starting to have scientific backing We're lucky if we get to be old, physician and professor believes More from around the web A radical experiment tried to make old people young again — and the results were astonishing | Business Insider The truth about grumpy old men (and women) | AARP Do we become less optimistic as we grow older? | Psychology Today |
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