Carolyn Hax: If expectations bring disappointment, then are we not supposed to make plans?

Should you go into every plan without an expectation of its actually happening to prevent yourself from being disappointed? ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Sign up for this newsletter Read online Advice to help you tackle life's problems.     (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) If expectations bring disappointment, then are we not supposed to make plans? Adapted from an online discussion. Hi Carolyn: There has been talk here of "happiness = reality - expectations." Where is the line between plans and expectations? Having a concrete plan makes it seem reasonable to expect that it will happen. And because there was a concrete plan, I may be even more disappointed when it doesn't. I know the reality is that not every plan will come to fruition, so should I go into every plan without an expectation of its actually happening? Or is it that concrete plans are just different because expectations usually go unspoken? — Overthinking! Read Carolyn's Response     ADVERTISEMENT   Want more? Carolyn's been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. Recognize your feelings, 'right' or 'wrong' Read more »   A breadwinner with guilt and shame baked in Read more »   Struggling to forgive and move on after a bad breakup Read more »     We think you'll like this newsletter Check out Coronavirus Updates for news to help you stay safe and informed during the pandemic. Access to all stories in the newsletter is free. Sign up »

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