(Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I never realized how radically different my husband and I viewed housework until the past year stuck us in the house 24/7. My worldview is, two people sharing a living space should pitch in equally. His worldview, it turns out, is, "I'll clean things when the dirt bothers me; you clean things when the dirt bothers you," and — lucky him — the dirt never bothers him. He'd be happy to clean the bathroom only after a month's worth of grime had accumulated, but since I'm bothered after a week, I'm … always the one cleaning the bathroom. We've fought endlessly about this. He thinks I'm "unfairly holding him to my arbitrary standards." I think he's using his dirt-tolerance as an excuse to let me pick up all the slack. And frankly, what bothers me most is that he'd rather let me be unhappy and stressed than spend 20 minutes a day doing the dishes or running a vacuum. This feels like a big issue. Is it a big issue, or are emotions just high because they're high for everyone right now? — Unhappy and Stressed |
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