Carolyn Hax: How much to reach out to someone struggling with depression?

A cousin is struggling with depression and sometimes doesn't return texts or phone calls. Is it time to back off a bit? ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Sign up for this newsletter Read online Advice to help you tackle life's problems.     (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) How much to reach out to someone struggling with depression? Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My cousin is now the only one living in her immediate family. Her parents, brother and sister have died. She is divorced and has a daughter who lives several hours away. I am her only cousin and I also live far away. She has been struggling with depression and is in treatment. I have been calling her, texting, etc., and I get a response about 25 percent of the time. Once I was so concerned I asked her whether she thought about harming herself. She denies any suicidal thoughts and says she is feeling somewhat better. How much do I keep texting and calling? I get frustrated when she doesn't respond or when we set up a time to talk and she cancels. I know grief mixed with depression is an awful combination, but sometimes I take it personally and question if she really wants me in her life. I don't want her to feel guilty, so I haven't asked her about how much contact is too much. I touch base about twice a month. Should I back off? — Concerned Cousin Read Carolyn's Response     ADVERTISEMENT   Want more? Carolyn's been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. Holiday hostess chafes at uneven workload Read more »   What to say to a friend you think might be contemplating an affair Read more »   Who pays? One way or the other, everybody. Read more »     We think you'll like this newsletter Check out Lean & Fit for expert advice on how to eat right, get lean and stay fit, including curated healthy recipes every Wednesday. Sign up »

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