 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: My husband is an extremely competent person who approaches everything with informed and reasoned thinking. I approach things less so, but I am not a generally careless person. When my husband believes I am doing something in a way that could be done better or could result in a negative outcome, he might correct or assist me by taking action or telling me what I should do. I have been chafing under the assistance and corrections, and after our thoughtful discussion on this matter, I am left with a couple of questions: How do I know whether my husband is nitpicking or whether I am being overly sensitive? How does the degree of negative consequences that might result from an action, and the frequency and delivery of the correction or assistance, impact this? — Nitpicker or Narcissist? |
Classic Hootenanny of Holiday Horrors storiesWe're counting down the days until the 2021 Hoot with some of our favorite stories from over the years. Potato chucking (2011) "When my grandparents were still alive, the entire family gathered at their far-away house for Christmas dinner. My grandmother was a most proper lady who said everything with perfect diction, always sat and stood with perfect posture, and never had anything even remotely resembling a rude or untoward thought or moment - in short, the polar opposite of my grandfather, who was a rough-hewn Long Island policeman who smoked, slouched, and cursed as he pleased, though never in front of Grandma, who hated it. "The table at which we sat was long enough for almost 20 of us, and the bowl of baked potatoes was at the head opposite my grandfather, next to my grandmother. He decided he wanted one, and asked my grandmother to pass him a potato, please. She didn't hear him, and carried on her conversation as if nothing had happened (she was also known for being a chatterbox, again, opposite of taciturn Grandpa). "This repeated itself several times, and eventually a couple of us grandkids caught on to it and sat back to see what would happen. My grandfather got so irked by his lack of potato that he banged his fist on the table and bellowed, quite loud and clear, 'Rita, would you pass me a god-d*** potato?!' "Without missing a beat of her conversation - or even looking away - my grandmother picked up a potato and heaved it at him, narrowly missing several of us in the process (not to mention nearly smacking him right in the nose). The entire table froze in expectant silence - what would happen next? Grandma dabbed at her mouth with the corner of her napkin, cleared her throat, and very quietly and gravely said, 'There is your god-d***ed potato, Robert.' I've never loved her more than I did in that moment." |
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