 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Hello, Carolyn: I'm a married man with three wonderful kids and a wonderful wife. My great friend and business partner is a married man with two wonderful kids and a wonderful wife. He's a fairly religious (but silent about it) kind of guy. Over the years, my friend has gently acknowledged that some of my gay relatives are not eligible for an entry ticket to heaven. He's not the least bit mean-spirited about it. More like a sad acknowledgment we should "pray for them." I'm not religious so his theological musing hasn't bothered me — although it's jarring coming from such an otherwise kind and open person. It's becoming abundantly clear this same friend's oldest son, as he passes through puberty, is gay. My friend seems oblivious — and I believe he sincerely is. To everyone else, the child's trajectory is fairly clear (although we could certainly all be mistaken). Normally, I would stay out of this entirely. It's not my business. But in my presence and the presence of his son — and wife and grandparents — my friend often will make gay jokes. For example, an older male friend and I often travel together. It's purely platonic but when I return, the gay jokes come out — causing the family to titter. He uses "gay" as a common jab at many of our friends. This in itself would not concern me — our circle of friends often makes irreverent jokes, although not in front of children. In this case, however, it is made in the presence of a child who is very, very likely facing the discovery of things about himself that his father might not be comfortable with — yet I can't say, "Don't be joking like that in front of your gay son." I do think his father will ultimately accept his son, regardless of his sexual orientation. However, it's the potential damage being done to the child in the here-and-now that concerns me. I wonder if perhaps in this case, I should not mind my own business. — Wondering | 
No comments:
Post a Comment