(Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: As I was growing up, my parents were not the best — Dad was checked out and Mom was an alcoholic who was incredibly good at hiding her drinking from everyone but us. They divorced and my mom married my verbally and physically abusive, also alcoholic, stepfather. She missed a lot of time with me because she was drunk, so our relationship deteriorated significantly. After I went away to college, I'd call weekly, but she was rarely both sober and available. I pretty much gave up on her when she missed my college graduation because she was on a major bender. Two years ago, she finally left her husband and has been sober. I'm happy she's pulling her life together, but after everything I've been through, I don't trust it. I'm tired of being a crutch. She is demanding we talk more and has started calling a couple of times a week instead of once a month. She issued a lame apology for anything she did that hurt me while she was drinking and now thinks she's absolved of all guilt and should be treated like a caring, loving mom. She's been pushing to schedule a visit. She wants to have a talk because she wants a closer relationship, but I get a sense of dread every time she calls. How do I tell her the fact that we're still talking is about as good as it's ever going to get? — Don't Trust It |
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