From  | | | Sexual assault anniversaries can weigh heavily. Here's how four survivors honor theirs. | |  | | Sitting on the cold metal bench of an Italian police station on Nov. 12, 2008, Keri Potts had one thought: I should've ordered the wine and cake. The night before was supposed to be her last night of vacation. Potts, then 31, and her friend, Lynn, went to one last dinner at a Roman cafe. She felt like she'd overindulged on the trip, so she opted for water over her favorite red wine and also declined dessert. She didn't know that just hours later she would be fleeing an assault and attempted rape, ultimately leaping over a balcony in the dark to escape her attacker. Sitting on that bench between hours of questioning, the gravity of what she faced began to settle in. Plus, she was hungry. "Oh my god, I almost died, and I denied myself something I love so much," she recounted thinking. "The arrogance that you'll live another day! I just thought: No, never again. Don't deny yourself. Don't ever take yourself for granted." | |  | | Now each year around the date of her attack, Potts treats herself to those two pleasures: a glass of red wine and a slice of chocolate cake. Commemorating the anniversary of trauma, sometimes referred to as a "traumaversary," isn't just symbolically meaningful; it can also be a tangible way to counteract what psychologists call anniversary reactions. Survivors may experience increased feelings of unease, guilt, shame, anger, anxiety and more around dates associated with trauma. This happens because our brains catalogue clues associated with traumatic events, said Jocelyn St.Cyr, a licensed independent clinical social worker who works with trauma survivors. When that time of year rolls around, environmental clues like weather, holidays or dates on the calendar might trigger alarm bells in our brains as a protective mechanism: This happened before, and it could happen again. "Our bodies have a hard time telling time," St. Cyr said. "Even though we know logically it's been five years, 10 years since something has happened, our bodies sometimes don't recognize that." We spoke with survivors of sexual trauma about how they think about and commemorate their own "traumaversaries." | | | | | Three need-to-know stories | | | (Marvin Joseph/The Washington Post) | 01.President Biden nominated federal judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Stephen G. Breyer on Friday. If confirmed, she would become the first Black woman on the high court. Here's what to know about the historic pick. 02.Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky on Sunday said Ukraine and Russia would conduct the first diplomatic talks since the Kremlin-launched invasion. But tensions continued to escalate, with Russian President Vladimir Putin stating Sunday that he had put his nuclear deterrence forces into high alert, attributing the move to "aggressive statements" from the West against Russia. Read the latest news here. 03.Supporters say they have the votes in the House to pass a reparations bill more than three decades after it was first introduced. They are less optimistic about the bill's fate in the Senate; instead, they intend to push President Biden to sign an executive order that would create a commission to study reparations for Black Americans. | | | | | | | A story to make you smile | | | (Courtesy of Chuck Matthews/Washington Post illustration) | | Each Thursday morning, Norma Matthews and her twin sister, Edith Antoncecchi, carefully style their hair and sometimes put on coordinating outfits. Then they catch a lift to a church in St. Petersburg, Fla., for the Golden Heirs musical hour for seniors. They go for the coffee, doughnuts and music, Norma said, but they also soak up the fuss people make over them. "People love that we're still together," Norma said. "We've done everything together since the day we were born." The identical twin sisters turned 100 in December and have become celebrities of sorts in the area. For their 100th birthday, more than 50 relatives flew to St. Petersburg to honor them at one of their favorite Italian restaurants, said Norma's son, Chuck Matthews. The rousing lunchtime celebration was followed by a long nap. Read more from Cathy Free in The Washington Post. | | | | | But before we part, some recs | | | (Marvin Joseph/The Washington Post) | Vanessa WilliamsReporter, The Washington Post National DeskYou recently wrote about your experience with the "unqualified Black candidate" trope. What is your ethos for advocating for yourself at work?I strive to hold the people who are in charge of my workplace to the same standards to which I hold other institutions outside of the newsroom. That's what journalists are supposed to do. What's your view on covering national issues through the lenses of race and gender?I think journalists and news organizations must do a better job of covering and helping people understand the demographic and social changes our country is going through. How do you unwind, especially when the news is hectic?I hang out with my dog, CeCe, a spunky little Havenese who enjoys long walks and cuddling on the sofa to watch TV with me. Well, I watch, she mostly snoozes, but she's still a good TV buddy. | | | | | | |
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