 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: When my husband and I married, I kept my last name, and when we had children, we simply gave them both our last names, with my last name in the middle and his last. My son, who is older, basically has dropped the middle name and just uses his dad's last name, which is fine with me, but my daughter, who is in high school, has now decided to drop her dad's last name and use mine. She says she likes it better. For context, she has a strong feminist streak, and although I have not encouraged her to do this, I don't have a problem with it either. I feel as if it's her choice. Her dad, however, feels as though it is a rejection of him and his family. Her view is that she likes the sound of my last name better, and it's a way of sticking it to the patriarchy. And although I am secretly proud and honored by her gumption, I also am trying to keep the peace between her and her dad. I think, in the end, her dad is going to have to learn to suck it up and deal, but is there any way to broker some peace here? He is really upset, and she dismisses it as toxic masculinity. For what it's worth, he is pretty progressive when it comes to women's rights, but he is also from a deeply paternalistic culture, so I am sure it's an adjustment for him. — What's in a Name? |
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