 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: When I met "Susan" I was a 25-year-old virgin, and she was 30 and just out of a five-year marriage to a pathologically jealous guy who had battered her. To give you an idea, he once beat the crap out of one of her platonic friends, thinking the other man posed a threat. He had also accused her of having sex with the dog. We began dating, and soon she was doing a great imitation of a woman who was in love with me — all over me constantly, telling me how wonderful I was. One night I took her home, she asked me to spend the night, and we made love. The fact that I was a virgin was pretty evident, and I saw no point in denying it. A few days later I told her I was in love with her and wanted a relationship. I got the, "It's not you, it's me," spiel: "I need time and space. I made a mistake marrying my husband, and I don't want to make another mistake." At one point I said, "Tell it to me straight." I asked her if I was at least in the running, and she said yes. She was willing to keep seeing me, which was less than I wanted, but I figured I'd take what I could get. She didn't ask me to spend the night again. Five weeks later she said she'd entered an exclusive relationship with another man. I was shattered. So much for needing time and space. Apparently, it wasn't her after all, it was me. If it had taken several months for this to happen, I would have said, "Okay, she wasn't ready for a relationship then, but she is now, and I wasn't the one, so be it." But five weeks? I suppose that given her recent history, she wasn't a great prospect for a relationship, but I think she was extremely dishonest. When I told her I loved her, she should have said, "I don't love you back, and I can't see you anymore." What do you think? — Apparently, It Was Me |
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