 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: Long ago, I wanted a family — husband and children. My marriage ended in divorce 20 years ago, and fate said "no" about children. It hurt like crazy for a while, but then my niece was born and I "got over it." I just made a choice that I didn't want to be sad. So I took what life did give me and made it the best life I could have. And it worked. I'm now the world's greatest aunt to two nieces, a nephew, and one niece-in-law who all live close by. I have strong relationships with my brother and his family, and even with his wife's family — I was part of the package when she married my brother (ha!). I have a great career, own a nice home, self-sufficient, etc. I have good friends, frequently host social gatherings, and have many hobbies. I can confidently say 99 percent of the time I feel completely satisfied and content with my life, and never lonely. Before I got to this, however, I had other relationships that ended with me picking up the pieces of my broken heart. Once it was also a broken bank account, another I had to get a restraining order. After those situations, part of my "best life" plan was basically to take relationships off that table for a while — obviously I needed to work on something to make better choices. That "break" turned into a lifestyle. I just didn't want to risk my peace with it anymore. Even though everyone I know thinks one day I'm "going to find the right guy," I don't know if I would ever take the chance. I have zero tolerance for anything that makes me the slightest bit uncomfortable. My life is my sanctuary now. A few close friends think I have an unhealthy fear about love and need to be open to meeting someone. They are always trying to introduce me to people, and it's always a very firm NO WAY! from me! I think I'm happy and don't need anything else … but there's that other 1 percent of the time, I wonder sometimes if I'm punishing myself for those bad choices. What do you think? Should I trust my feelings of contentment, or am I lying to myself out of fear? — Happy? | 
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