 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I was widowed in my mid-50s a few years ago; my husband developed a rare disease and died after 15 harrowing months. We had an unhappy relationship; I was calling divorce lawyers when he was diagnosed. I did my duty caring for him but was not devastated when he died. We have no children. Within four months of his death, I began dating a neighbor I'd known in passing, a widower. We're very happy two years into our relationship. He has four children and several grandchildren, and I've enjoyed outings and parties and helping plan baby showers and the like. I admit that, at the start, I focused intensely on him and his family, to the exclusion of my longtime friends, including a couple of close female friends of decades who had helped me during my husband's illness. I guess I needed a total change of pace. Now I'm in the groove of a much happier life than I've had in 20 years, am retired, financially secure, in love and feeling loved for the first time. I'm at a place where I can reconnect. Two of my closest friends have basically told me that they felt dropped and that I should have continued to make time for them if I expected to keep old friendships going, especially after they helped me through the down periods of my marriage and my husband's illness. They weren't hostile, just matter-of-fact and rather indifferent. They said they have moved on. I'm dumbfounded. Yes, I suppose I could have been more inclusive, but I just needed to escape my old life for a while. Am I wrong, or are they hardhearted here? — In the Groove | 
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