 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: When I was a child, my mother told me over and over again how dumb I was and how ashamed she was to be my mother, and how the day I turn 18 she wants me out of the house and never wants to see me again. This affected every choice I made when I started out in life: I went to the inexpensive state school near home and took the first job locally I could find. But she was also wrong about everything: I graduated summa cum laude and went back for my master's. Today I am making a great salary doing work I am deeply proud of. My mom's life took an unexpected twist: My father died and my younger brother, whom she adored and doted on, developed schizophrenia and is now totally dependent on her care. As a single woman in my 20s and 30s, I assumed I would take over my brother's care after she died. But now, in my 40s, I have met and married a wonderful guy from the Midwest, and he is feeling a pull to go back there from the East Coast. I have a feeling I would love it, too. Finally I have started to realize how wrong my mother was about me (and how wrong she made me feel about myself), and I feel such an urge to move away, thrive with my husband and "find" my real self. But my brother would have no one after my mother is gone. I don't even know how to begin making a decision to go or stay. Or have I already cast my lot? — Anonymous | 
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