| This week, we ran this piece we've been working on for a while. We had asked caregivers to tell us about how America's gun violence has impacted the way they parent. Many of you wrote to us, and we appreciated every heartfelt, angry, thoughtful note we received. We also interviewed parents who have been near gun violence in so many awful ways. Horrifically, the piece was ready to go when a shooter armed with an AR-15 and other powerful guns killed three young children and three adults at their small elementary school in Nashville. I wanted to share more important parent voices here, talking about how guns have affected their lives. As always, we are incredibly grateful for those willing to speak to us about important issues impacting parents. Gun violence has completely upended my parenting experience. I now try to avoid taking my kids to crowded events. I've even hesitated to take them to the grocery store. When we go to church, I play out the scene in my mind of a shooter coming in. I imagine throwing myself on top of my children and fleeing to the nearest exit. The whole thought process happens before I even realize it. Since my older daughter started school, I now have a whole new set of worries. My husband and I have talked before about what it would look like to leave the country. You can't ever fully escape danger and tragedy, we know this, but at least we could eliminate a very obvious risk — and leave behind this country's idol worshipping of guns. If we stay and our girls' lives are directly affected by gun violence, how could we ever live with ourselves? It's a very heavy time to be a parent in America. — Elli Purtell, 36, Chicago, Illinois [As submitted to The Washington Post] There's a lot going on out here. Kids are not being heard, not being taught. Their parents may be on drugs or dealing with their own situations, they don't have resources. So out here they get a whole circle of friends with the same issues. They're all just angry and all they know is to be there for one another. I was trying to do everything a mother could do. It took until my children got involved in crime to get the resources. The only way I got help was if I'm standing in front of a judge. I tried to turn it around. To help my sons better understand to make better decisions. I want to allow them to see they have a chance out there. I never gave up on that. I don't have a career job. I'm not rich, but I tried to mold them and hold them as much as I could. But once you take them to school, they are on their own. No matter what I teach here, others are not teaching the same. They can be one way around you, but then when they hit this community, they have to be a whole entire other person. It's 'If I don't show survival mode, I'm going to be killed or hurt.' Guns are not ever going to stop coming into our world. Look who's getting ahold of them: our youth. You tell me if it's ever going to end. I've always tried my best. I know people will say 'They're a product of their environment. It's how you're raised on the inside.' If I could have, I would have moved, but I could not. All the jobs I had and I can't afford rent out there. I just pray for all the youth and this community. We need a lot of help because this gun violence is out of control. — Nakia Onley, whose two sons, now 23 and 20, are in federal prison on gun charges. [As told to Amy Joyce] I make sure to always say "I love you" when I drop them off at school, just in case. I stay aware of exit paths everywhere I go. I don't take my children to big outdoor parades or festivals anymore. I've had conversations with my children about what to do if they ever see a gun (NEVER touch it and tell a grown up immediately). Most importantly though, I've become active with Moms Demand Action. My children ask me to do everything I can to help end gun violence and I'm doing my best from my corner of the country. — Patricia Boe, Santa Ana, California [As submitted to The Washington Post] PERSPECTIVE By Amy Joyce, Caitlin Gibson and Elizabeth Chang ● Read more » | | | |
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