Carolyn Hax: Partner sends ‘short, mean messages’ when he’s upset

He sends a stream of nasty emails when he's upset, and his long-distance partner is out of ideas for how to get it to stop. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Sign up for this newsletter Read online Advice to help you tackle life's problems.     (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) Partner sends 'short, mean messages' when he's upset Hi Carolyn: I am in a long-distance relationship where my partner and I primarily communicate by email and regularly scheduled phone calls. When he is upset with me or feels I have let him down, he has a habit of lashing out in the moment with short, mean messages pointing out how inconsiderate and inattentive I am. Recently I'd agreed to have lunch delivered to him at work, and then I forgot to do it. When I realized my mistake I apologized promptly and sincerely, but he kept firing back. I find this kind of communication immature and unnecessarily hurtful. I would never talk to someone the way he talks to me, particularly in an email, which allows for time to cool down and be careful with our words before we hit send. I have asked him before to please not do this, but he still does it. How can I respond in a way that acknowledges his feelings but also sets a boundary for appropriate ways to express them to me? — Anonymous Read Carolyn's Response     ADVERTISEMENT   Want more? Carolyn's been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. Trust your feelings, and not just his, in a budding relationship Read more »   New to online dating, but not to your own instincts Read more »   Harsh news for the 'other woman' Read more »     We think you'll like this newsletter Check out Bold School for smart advice on how to get better with age, plus tried-and-true tips from our readers, every Monday and Friday for 12 weeks. Sign up »

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