 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: I'm tired of everyone worrying whether I'm okay and wondering whether I have to change who I am and how I relate to people to make it stop. My mom died when I was 7, and even at that age I knew something was wrong. No one told me what happened and I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral and my teachers whispered about me. When I was 10, I had an assignment to write about the worst day of my life and I wrote about how I wasn't able to say goodbye to my mom, and my teacher took me aside to ask if I needed to talk to the school counselor about it. In high school I finally found out that my mom killed herself by stepping in front of a train. It was awful but they could've told me something before that. After I found out, I was "forced" to see the guidance counselor all four years of high school. I miss my mom and I'm horrified by what happened, but I'm not her. I do lean kind of goth in my dress and I'm not talkative or bubbly, and my family is constantly "checking in" on me. My aunt texted me after seeing me at a family gathering, saying she wanted to make sure I was okay — this made me so uncomfortable and upset. I talked to almost everyone at the party and ate and had a good time. I am a responsible adult, I have a job and friends, but my family acts as though I'm always on the verge of losing it. I also feel that I can't ask about my mom, who she was, or else they will freak out. I want my family to respect me and not worry about how I'm doing, and also be able to tell me about her. How can I make this happen? — Anonymous | 
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