Carolyn Hax: A favor between friends spirals into a complaint triangle

Letter writer feels stuck in the middle of a standoff between a favor-doing friend and an uncooperative partner. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Sign up for this newsletter Read online Advice to help you tackle life's problems.     (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) A favor between friends spirals into a complaint triangle Dear Carolyn: For many years, one of my oldest friends has very kindly taken in my cats for a month every summer while I am out of town. Because they live in an apartment on a high floor with a balcony, they have always asked me to help them install some safety barriers to reduce the chances that a cat might fall and meet an untimely end. I have told them that I find this risk very low, but I have gone along because it gives them peace of mind. This year, I need to delegate the cat drop-off to my partner, who shares my view that a barrier is unnecessary and … doesn't want to help with the installation. My friend is upset about this and has complained bitterly to me. While I do sympathize, I resent that they expect me to be the messenger when they have their own relationship with my partner and could easily express their disappointment directly. Is it acceptable to treat someone as a proxy for their other half in these situations? What is the best response? — Stuck in the Middle Read Carolyn's Response     ADVERTISEMENT   Want more? Carolyn's been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. Wife looking to keep riffraff away from anniversary bash Read more »   When your son-in-law does his Don Rickles act, is it okay to heckle? Read more »   How to make the two-bed marriage work Read more »     We think you'll like this newsletter Check out Plant Powered by Voraciously for our 12-week guide to cooking more plant-forward meals. Recipes, techniques and tips on Tuesdays. Sign up »

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