Carolyn Hax: Their boyfriends are becoming friends, and it’s not okay

One friend likes that their boyfriends are hanging out together, but the other feels "suffocated" by this new friendship. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Sign up for this newsletter Read online Advice to help you tackle life's problems.     (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) Their boyfriends are becoming friends, and it's not okay Hi Carolyn: I've been dating "Matt" for about six months; my friend "Tara" has been dating "Trevor" for about two years. We've all hung out a few times and had a good time! Then Trevor started inviting Matt to go with him to sporting events, and now Matt has invited Trevor to join his weekly kickball game. They're becoming friends independently, which is really unexpected and has never happened between someone I was dating and a friend's boyfriend in my whole dating history. Tara seems to like it and thinks it'll make it even easier for us to do things such as double dates. But I am feeling strangely … suffocated? I liked having a layer of distance between my relationship and my circle of friends. I also don't really like Trevor very much, which I had suggested to Matt but have stopped mentioning now for obvious reasons. Is it totally inappropriate for me to take issue with this new friendship? — Suffocated Read Carolyn's Response   What's your favorite Carolyn Hax column about going on vacation? Read more »     ADVERTISEMENT     Want more? Carolyn's been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. In her 40s, and still struggling with her first name Read more »   Your kids and your lawyer boyfriend argue. Dismiss with prejudice? Read more »   Interested in a dad, but not his daughter Read more »     Ask for advice Carolyn chats with readers every Friday afternoon. ADVICE Need advice? Join columnist Carolyn Hax's weekly chat (July 21 | 12 p.m. ET) Read more »     News whiz? Play our daily news quiz. Test your knowledge of current events with our new quotable game, On the Record. Play game   We think you'll like this newsletter Check out Bold School for smart advice on how to get better with age, plus tried-and-true tips from our readers, every Monday and Friday for 12 weeks. Sign up »

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