(Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Feb. 14, 2007. Dear Carolyn: What are your thoughts about people in committed relationships going on vacation (alone) with members of the opposite sex? My boyfriend of six months, who professes a commitment to our relationship, is planning an extended vacation through Europe with an additional trip to Africa (Country X) [This was pre-covid. CH]. While there, he plans on hiking around the countryside with a young, single friend of his who happens to live there. I discovered this only through repeated questions — e.g., "So, do you know anyone in Country X?" "What prompted you to visit Country X?" "How did you meet your friend in Country X?" "Will you be staying with said friend?" — over the course of a couple of weeks. He has volunteered zero information to me. When I finally found out about this hiking trip and indicated my discomfort, he stated that he would have no problem with my going away with a friend of the opposite sex. I see two big issues: First, why the secrecy? Second, why the vacation with this other woman? It seems to me that he is either being actively dishonest or just really isn't all that committed to our relationship. We're in our early 30s, if that matters. Am I behaving in an overly possessive, sexist way here? — Perplexed |
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