Carolyn Hax: Elite university grad tires of competitive friends

Elite university grad has grown out of the need to compete, but college friends haven't. Is it possible to ditch the comparisons and remain friends? ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Sign up for this newsletter Read online Advice to help you tackle life's problems.     (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) Elite university grad tires of competitive friends Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I went to an "elite" university where my friend group is very competitive with one another. Each conversation feels like thinly veiled life measuring. In the five years since college, I have grown away from this — I just don't want to measure my life against anyone's or be measured against. I love these friends in some ways and don't want to let go of them, but I also notice that I don't feel great after seeing them. I get pulled back into that competitive mode and find it hard to resist, and then afterward feel depleted because it just feels so dehumanizing to have your life weighed and measured for worth. I'm looking for advice on how to take the good and leave the bad in these situations. — Grown Away Read Carolyn's Response     ADVERTISEMENT   Read your responses to this week's reader question We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question. My husband is a good dad but not a great stay-at-home parent. Carolyn Hax readers give advice. Perspective ●  By Carolyn Hax ●  Read more »     Want more? Carolyn's been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. Young kids and full-time jobs suck the air out of their relationship Read more »   Swept away by romance of marriage and blind to the reality Read more »   A word for the grandma who labels kids? Upsetting. Read more »     We think you'll like this newsletter Check out A Better Week for a 7-day email course that will help you conquer your calendar, get more done and find time for the things you care about. Sign up »

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