Carolyn Hax: Does racism explain why they were left off the guest list?

The bride is White and two close friends of the groom are not. Coincidence? They think not. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Sign up for this newsletter Read online Advice to help you tackle life's problems.     (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) Does racism explain why they were left off the guest list? Dear Carolyn: My old friend, who still introduces me to others as his best friend, got married and didn't invite me and another close friend of ours to his wedding. We were his best friends in the world and were very close. When we asked him about the plans, he said he was not going to have a wedding and so there was no need for us to travel to the West Coast to be there. He wanted something very minimal. We respected his decision. When visiting him a few months later, we found out from his wife that he actually did have a wedding. A few years have gone by and now my friend regularly calls for advice and support regarding his marriage. Should I feel obliged to help my duplicitous friend with his marriage problems, given that he excluded me from his wedding? One detail: We are people of color and the wife is not. She is from a wealthy White family on the West Coast. Were we segregated from the wedding? — Excluded Read Carolyn's Response     ADVERTISEMENT   Want more? Carolyn's been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. With family and friends, reciprocation is over the long haul Read more »   A good friend? Strong feelings? Be honest and see what happens. Read more »   If you feel like a doormat, here are some welcome changes Read more »     Ask for advice Carolyn chats with readers every Friday afternoon. ADVICE Need advice? Join columnist Carolyn Hax's weekly chat (Sept. 30 | 12 p.m. ET) Read more »     We think you'll like this newsletter Check out Must Reads for a curated selection of our best journalism in your inbox every Saturday, plus a peek behind the scenes into how one story came together. Sign up »

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