Carolyn Hax: Can a ‘less-than-great parent’ find a way to make amends to her grown child?

Her only child keeps deflecting her attempts to visit. She's gotten the hint, but can't make peace with her diminished role. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Sign up for this newsletter Read online Advice to help you tackle life's problems.     (Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post) Can a 'less-than-great parent' find a way to make amends to her grown child? Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My only child and their spouse are expecting a baby. I live in the suburbs and they live downtown. Every time I ask whether I can stop by for a few minutes, the answer is invariably how busy they are, they'll let me know. I never hear back. I'm invited only on Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day and (sometimes) my birthday. Those aren't necessarily guaranteed. I've tried everything. I don't stay long. I'm not intrusive. I'm as pleasant as I know how to be. But they just don't want my company or to come here. Their father alienated them from me following a divorce 20 years ago. I struggled with issues that made me a less-than-great parent and that are now medicated. But it's too late. I'm beginning to understand I just need to accept this, but I can't sleep anymore. Any advice? — Unwanted Read Carolyn's Response     ADVERTISEMENT   Want more? Carolyn's been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. Two friends differ on whether their children should date each other: Would it be 'cute' or a disaster? Read more »   How do you decide when someone has crossed the line between being badly behaved and abusive? Read more »   A reformed slob has trouble making Mom see beyond the slovenly housekeeping of her teen years Read more »     We think you'll like this newsletter Check out Recipes for seasonal and delicious recipes from Post food editors and experts, every Saturday. Sign up »

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